Anger is often a corrosive emotion that can drain one's mental and physical health. We often hear the advice that the best way to overcome anger is not to hold it back, but express it freely. But anger doesn't go away just because one unleashes it. On the other hand, it may precipitate disastrous consequences.
Anger has a "feeling aspect" and an "acting aspect". The feeling part of anger can be irritation, frustration, disappointment, and a desire for revenge. The acting part can be a violent outburst or physical assault.
"Anger management" is a modern expression that denotes, not just the control of anger, but the proper channelling of anger along constructive lines as well. That is to say, anger does not always work negatively; it can have a positive aspect as well, if managed properly.
Islam teaches us not merely to suppress anger in its negative aspects, but also to sublimate it for constructive action.
Allah says in the Quran what means,
[And the servants of (Allah) Most gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace."] (Al-Furqan 25:63)
And Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
"The strong man is not the one who can throw another down. The strong man is the one who can keep hold of himself when he is angry" (Muslim)
Anger is a natural emotion that rises in a person's chest in reaction to insults or threats. Having the feeling of anger is one thing, and expressing that anger in words or action is another. If we have the proper discipline, we can hold back anger and thereby avoid the bad consequences of its unbridled expression as Allah teaches us in the Quran,
[O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.] (Al-Baqarah 2:153)
The Quranic term used for "patient perseverance" is sabr. Indeed, "sabr" means not just patient perseverance. It also means endurance against afflictions, steadfastness in the face of setbacks, courage against hostilities, and self-restraint against provocations.
It is clear that if one cultivates "sabr" in the proper sense, it is one's strongest defence against anger. People who have no patience easily lose their temper when they are faced with hostility or a setback.
A culture of patience can strengthen us against all kinds of provocation. Patience helps us keep our cool. For this reason the Prophet used to pray to Allah to bless him with "sabr".
And to Prophet Muhammad, Allah said what means:
[And We have sent you not (O Muhammad), but as a mercy for all] (Al-Anbiyaa' 21:107)
Mercy and forgiveness are the genuine antidotes to anger, and those who possess those qualities are the ones who can put down their anger; and they are the truly blessed ones.
In addition to the above basics, the Prophet has also taught us a number of techniques to conquer the rising anger in a person. He said:
"If one of you gets angry and he is standing, then he should sit down until his anger subsides. If it does not, then he should lie down." (Abu Dawud)
He has also advised: "When anyone of you is seized with anger, let him perform wudu (ablution)." (Abu Dawud)
Psychologists who have conducted tests to determine the effects of anger on people have confirmed that anger subsides when a standing person sits down; or when a seated person lies down.
That is to say, a person's body position can influence his behavior in the context of aggression. Similarly a dash of cold water on the face can put out the fire of anger.
Also, the Prophet taught that when a person feels anger rising, he should seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan. He said: "The best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down. Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendants of Adam." (At-Tirmidhi)
It is reported that once a man came to the Prophet and asked for advice; and he answered: "Do not get angry". The man repeated his demand and the Prophet said the same words: "Do not get angry". And the third time too he gave the same answer. (Al-Bukhari)
The scholar Ibn Hajar, in his commentary on this hadith explains, "The man stated his question repeatedly, hoping to solicit an answer that was more than that."
Anger is a very powerful emotion that encourages a person towards revenge. The emotion of anger invokes within a person the very antithesis of mercy, compassion and self-restraint.
The Prophetic injunction "Do not get angry" tells us not to act upon that emotion when we are overcome by it. It is obligatory on our part to exercise self-restraint when we feel angry.
But there is a kind of anger a Muslim should feel when his religion is attacked, his beliefs blasphemed, and the lives of the people are transgressed against. This anger, if it is truly sincere, is for Allah's sake, and it will only inspire us to personal sacrifice in the way of Allah.
The Companions relate that the Prophet never became angry for personal reasons. "He never once so much as raised his voice to his servants or his family. However, if the sanctity of Allah was profaned, then nothing could assuage his anger." (Muslim)
This anger of the Prophet for Allah is an example of "positive anger".
Allah says in the Quran what means,
[Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for God loves those who do good.] (Aal `Imran 3:133-134)
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